dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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