for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize