My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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