I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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