call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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