I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
