I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
