I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
