He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
