that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
