Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
