Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
