this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
