Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
