chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Two words: blizzard sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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