I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
