I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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