Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
