I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
