smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
