This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
