why didn't you poke me back
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
