What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
