im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
