This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
