I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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