My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
