There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
