Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
