I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you had me at cake vodka
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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