his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What a dumb baby whore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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