'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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