sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
