what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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