Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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