Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
