you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
