these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
