can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
