If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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