You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize