I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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