I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
