I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
