Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
