The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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