Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
