I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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