Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
