well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
