No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
