5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize