I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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