i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
