your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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