I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
