Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
