sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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