it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
