Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She bit a glass in half.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
