please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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