it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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