Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
