I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
