saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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