We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
