Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
