he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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