I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
